An Ode to the Naughty Joy of Breakfast with Beer

We’re not supposed to drink beer in the morning—and as social stigma go, this one’s pretty reasonable. Five or six days out of seven, most of us have deadlines to meet, kids to chaffeur, machinery to operate, shit to do—but therein lies the naughty joy of an occasional splash of alcohol with your breakfast. Because we know we shouldn’t.

This chance typically arrives, or is otherwise contrived, on a weekend. Imagine: You’re well rested and ideally free of hangover (bothersome things that interfere with the enjoyment of tomorrow’s responsible drinking). You have no serious obligations for the rest of the day, no taxes to file, no vehicles to steer. Maybe it’s a holiday. Maybe it’s a reunion with old friends. Or maybe—propitiously or by design—your firmest commitment is an afternoon nap, or a ballgame.

Then there is the food. In that sense, breakfast is an ideal meal for drinking, and it seems a shame to keep the two apart. Hearty breakfast foods pair well with beer, in theory—eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, hash browns, rustic breads—but how often do we get to test these theories? Slightly more scientifically: Protein and carbohydrates interfere with alcohol’s absorption into the bloodstream. Along with water and coffee (yes I drink coffee first, I have my addictions prioritized), these things slow it down and dilute it. You get less intoxicated than you might expect. (But don’t drive, OK? And you still may want that nap later.)

This is all by way of an excuse to name several great places to eat breakfast and drink beer, should you get the chance. This is nothing like a comprehensive list—just five of my favorites, plus a bunch of suggestions which are probably even better than mine and which I received after tapping some shoulders online. Your city is probably missing. That’s OK. See that comment section below? Please feel free to use it. I may just keep compiling and write a sequel.

There are some rules here. We are talking about breakfast, not early lunch. Call it brunch if you want, but an 11 a.m. opening time is grounds for disqualification. That’s just lunch with eggs, and there is nothing especially naughty about drinking then. We want earlier. We want mischief.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE FULL LIST AND TO READ THE ‘RULES’ AT DRAFTMAG.COM
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